Time
by Tegthe
Summary: A short story about Shuusei musing about time and Hotsuma. R&R please.


Hi! This is just a short story that suddenly came to me and I just had to write it down. It isn't much but I hope you like it though it might be some grammar mistakes as I haven't looked over it much. For those of you who read Destiny so can I say that I'm not giving up on it and I'm still writing even if it's slow at the moment and hopefully it won't be to long before the next chapter is done. Anyway reviews are highly appreciated and constructive criticism is welcome.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Uraboku or any of it's characters.

Enjoy!

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**Time**

Time, never ending time. Nothing can stop it, neither would anything, except those with a conscious who want to. Time was meant to go, moments passing, from creation to obliteration. Life passing, being born, live, die, and then being reincarnated again. Everything is never ending, simply going around in a circle. That's how it simply is.

Shuusei didn't like time. It destroyed the happy times, dragged out the sad and painful times and made him relive everything: all those battles, all those deaths and all those moments with Hotsuma. He loved Hotsuma though, there wasn't a doubt about it. But in this world where he and Hotsuma were again and again reincarnated in, he felt stuck. He loved Hotsuma, and that was the only reason for staying here. Letting himself get reincarnated into this world, if it meant seeing Hotsuma he wouldn't mind doing it. Yet, he felt stuck, perhaps it was the fact that Hotsuma was only a friend, a partner and nothing more. Perhaps it was because he was going around in the circle that was called his life or it was the fact he couldn't forget, always remembering the painful times and all the pain he had inflicted, no escape. But most likely it was a combination of all those facts.

He could get out of this circle, called life, he could simply kill himself, without anyone knowing and he would forget. The painful times, the evil circle, life, and Hotsuma. The warm sun that shone on him even on his darkest parts, that thing made everything somehow bearable. He became dependent on that sun, he doesn't know when or where, he just became. And that sun, for some reason, became dependent on the darkness it lights up. It keeps him in place, making him keep living, allowing himself to get reincarnated. Even if they aren't everything Shuusei wants them to be.

There were many times where he wanted to disappear and not return, but it was the promise of seeing the sun again was all that mattered in the end. When the darkness was falling, dissipating, and the sun, in return, shone less and less. The darkness simply couldn't watch it happen, the sun were supposed to shine the brightest of them all, never dying, never giving in to time, like the darkness was since the light sooner or later would overcome it and make it disappear, to never come back. The sun became dull and the darkness couldn't stand the sight of it, so it went back and the sun shone brightly again. It was the most brightest, when there was something so dark behind it all.

This didn't stop him from trying to disappear again and again though, but he returned quickly when he noticed Hotsuma's distress. Shuusei decided to wait for the time where no dependencies were left, he could disappear with a clean conscious then.

In time he was stuck, repeating the same mistakes, hurting Hotsuma by leaving, by hindering Hotsuma's free spirit and not being able to get them out of the circle of regret. So much regret, it accumulated over the time, over lifetimes, and soon he didn't know if it was love or simply guilt that held him in one place. He stopped to leave because the pain in the other increased.

They became broken dolls used in a war neither wanted to participate in, but their need of each other held them there, the promise of seeing the other and together becoming whole, but with pain. But that pain was far less scary, there was two of them after all, than the broken pain by being on their own, a half. Time mended them this way, keeping their many lifetimes intertwined with the other and time became their medicine, the thing that made things well.

Time went on because of that and yet again a mistake has been made. This time though, time wouldn't heal them. It was the arrival of one person who could heal them, but never was reachable before. The sun shined the brightest and would demand all attention, leaving the darkness behind, even if it didn't notice it, the sun was pretty stupid. But this meant the darkness could disappear from the suns life, it didn't fit there, never meant to be there, dragging it down, hindering it from living freely.

Shuusei abhorred time, for giving him so much of it with Hotsuma, he couldn't severe himself from Hotsuma anymore. Knowing that when he disappeared, Hotsuma would disappear from him too, it hurt in his chest. It would be good for Hotsuma, which he was sure of but not for him, it would tear him apart. When did he love Hotsuma so much that he couldn't even leave him for Hotsuma's own good? To love someone to the point of not being able to leave never occurred to Shuusei as possible, but yet here he was. He needed help to leave this time, he had always tried alone before, but now he would someone to push him in that direction. Time wouldn't give it to him, it never went the way he wanted it to, and he had to find someone on his own.

Time went on, 1, 2, 3, in the same rhythm as always, now and for a hundred of years ago as well. Ever continuing, with no remorse for those who wished to stop time, to preserve their moments of total peace.


End file.
